How to Speak Up Without Being a Jerk or a B!t%h
Today, I want to write about speaking up.
I'm sharing one of my client's stories.
She was at a meeting. She sat in a conference room with several other women, discussing a project where they were all working on. It was just another day at work, or so it seemed.
Then, one of her colleagues made a sexist comment. It was subtle, but she heard it. She looked around the room to see if anyone else noticed, but everyone seemed to be carrying on with the conversation as if nothing had happened. She felt a knot form in her stomach but didn't say anything. A few minutes later, he made another comment. This one was more blatant, and she knew she had to say something. But she didn't want to be the one to cause a scene, so she stayed quiet. She also knew she had a choice to make. She took a deep breath, gathered her courage, and spoke up.
She told him that his comments were inappropriate and disrespectful. The room fell silent, and everyone looked at her. She felt a wave of panic wash over her, but she held her ground. Her colleague tried to laugh it off and make excuses, but she didn't back down. She told him that his behavior was unacceptable and that they should all treat each other with respect.
The rest of the meeting was tense, but she felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. She had spoken up for herself and for all the women who have experienced sexism in the workplace or outside of work. She knew that it wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do.
After the meeting, several of her female colleagues thanked her for speaking up. They told her that they had experienced similar situations but had been too afraid to say anything. She felt a sense of solidarity with them and knew that she had made a difference.
I'm so proud of her because a month ago, during our coaching session was focused on extending her boundaries. Boundaries are imaginary lines that you draw around yourself to define the areas for you to fully express yourself. Boundaries are about what others CANNOT do to you or around you. Boundaries are about the actions of others.
With healthy boundaries, family and friends respect you more. Fear diminishes significantly. You start growing more emotionally and developmentally.
With weak boundaries, you attract needy disrespectful people into your life. You waste a lot of energy and feel drained.
Speaking up can be scary, but it can also be empowering. It can help you stand up for yourself and for others, and it can create positive change. I encourage everyone to speak up when they see injustice or discrimination because together, we can make a difference.
